Beam Up My Kids, Scotty!

I've found an answer to the energy crisis. Ask any mom, what is the single most drain on your time? Taking kids to school and their athletic events. How many of you sit in traffic day after day thinking, "There has got to be a better way"?

I bet your morning routine works like this. "Get up! Get dressed! Eat your breakfast! Hurry up, we're late!"

Soccer Drills

You race out of the driveway and down the road, only to come to a complete stop because of traffic. What seems like hours later, you drop your child off at school with a quick wave and either scramble to get to work on time or speed to the grocery store to start your list of errands for the day. Whew! It's only nine o'clock in the morning and you've already spent a lot of time, energy, and gas performing your daily routine.

Beam Up My Kids, Scotty!

What if there were an easier way? What if you could simply get up, have your child eat, get dressed and send him or her off to school all with the touch of a button. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

Well, I think we could find a way. Instead of petitioning our government to promote drilling in Alaska or offshore in Florida, we should ask the government to pour all their money into creating a transporter.

A transporter? What's that? Don't you remember the "transporter room" from Star Trek? You know, those machines where with the push of a button you were whisked from the safety of your spaceship to the eerie-looking planet below?

Why couldn't that work for you? Imagine this, Johnny or Jane has to go to school. You wake them up, feed them, and then they calmly step into the transporter. You hand them their lunch, blow them a kiss, and with a big smile on your face, you push the button. Your child turns into a million little energy pieces before your eyes and then disappears. They are off to school, and you are on your way to a relaxing cup of coffee and a leisurely reading of the paper before you start your day. No yelling at kids to hurry up-- No racing out to the car half-dressed, a piece of dry toast hanging from your mouth.

How great is that?

Personally, having three kids that play travel soccer, I am more excited about using the transporter for after-school activities. Picture this, your child gets home from school, eats, and does their homework and chores. Then, dressed in their uniform, you wave, and push the button. Just like that they are off to their practice. Multiple kids at different practices across town and- no problem! Just input the GPS coordinates of the practice place and push the button. Your biggest problem will be making sure that the right kid gets to the right event.

After they are gone, you have time to make that gourmet dinner you've always wanted. Just imagine, a hot meal of steaming roast beef au jus, twice-baked potatoes and green beans almondine. Or, even better, with all the money you've saved on gas, you can hire someone to cook it for you

So, what do you say? Shall we all write our congressmen and petition them for immediate funds for transporter research. It will save money! It will save gas! It will reduce our dependence on foreign oil (don't tell the oil companies). I say, the over-stressed moms unite- we need our transporters!

Pick up your pen and start writing now! I am going to. What have we got to lose but time in the car?

Beam Up My Kids, Scotty!